Do stupid people have it easier? Are they plagued with a brain that doesn’t stop thinking, that will always be active and that overanalyzes everything? I wish I could turn my brain off. How many times am I my own worst enemy? How many times do I want to do something and yet stop because I don’t think I can do it or that I am good enough. I have a to do list, it’s very long. A lot of it is things I want to do, but I overthink and it doesn’t get done. This falls into many aspects of my life. From things I want to do around the house, projects I want to start, it’s like my brain has two left feet and it stumbles over itself. I’ve been told “don’t think, just do countless times in the past. I’ve told myself that a lot as well.
The idea of “don’t think just do” is kind of an oxymoron isn’t it? You can’t do without your brain making you do, but it is also the thing getting in your way. It is weird that the brain can be at a constant struggle with itself and you can be your own worst enemy when you don’t even want to be. You want to get along with yourself, you want to let yourself have fun with it, but fear cripples you to the point of not even starting.
“Nothing to fear, but fear itself” is a phrase said by FDR during his inaugural address in 1933. 87 years later and that still rings true. People say that you need to fight a fear thought with a positive one. That seems to work for some, but for me my brain just goes into overdrive with specific reasons it could fail and how bad it could actually be. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes months to dig myself out of those thoughts and get back on a project. Combine that with hyper focus and losing interest quickly and I have projects I start and never complete. It is a vicious cycle.
I’ve been working on a bit of an art project for a while now, it’s a cheap guy being made to look more realistic. I will probably post it when I am done, so many times I just thought I should do it another way or give up entirely, but I think I will be painting it soon and while it won’t be perfect, it could be decent for the Instagram pictures I do for fun and exposure. Depending on how this actually comes out, I am looking forward to doing more creative projects, even with my brain trying to stop me.
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