My father called me a few days ago and let me know that my uncle had passed away. I went to the wake yesterday and saw family I haven’t seen in years. Some of them I don’t ever remember seeing. I recognized my aunt, but that is only because I remember her from my grandmother’s funeral over ten years ago. I don’t remember her ever seeing her besides that one time. I didn’t even recognize my uncles sons. I don’t even remember ever meeting them before, even though when I looked them up on Facebook I found out that they lived close to me when I was growing up.
Up until the wake I wasn’t necessarily upset with my uncle’s passing. I felt I should be more upset, but I suppose that even though he was my uncle, I never had him in my life so I didn’t really feel sad. I went to the wake only because I felt I should. My father, brother, and cousin Jasmine were all there. Jasmine and I started talking and neither one of us recognized anyone at the wake. I think we both felt the same thing, that maybe as a family we shouldn’t be so far away? She lives in Colorado so it is understandable why she wouldn’t necessarily know anyone when everyone lives in or around New Jersey, but I’m in New York, I lived in New Jersey for 21 years and these people are still complete strangers to me. I never really felt I had family before, my mother is an only child, and her side was the only side I’ve ever really known.
A few months ago my uncle contacted me on geni, which is a site to connect with your ancestry. I barely looked at it, I don’t even think I responded to him. I kept putting off for something else. Today I really looked at it. My family is a lot bigger than I would have thought it to be, and the fact that he put this whole thing together, I wonder if he felt the family was too far apart and if he wanted to bring everyone back together.
I don’t know these people who are in some way related to me. I don’t know their likes and dislikes, I don’t know their nicknames, I wouldn’t recognize them on the street if I passed them. I’m thinking that it needs to change though as I am seeing that family is important and that a family that is distant is useless. I think family should be all around, you should at least be able to say hi and find out more about other members of your family who may or may not be deceased. A Christmas card here and there, a phone call, a random cup of coffee, even just an add on a Social Networking site, family shouldn’t be something that you have no idea who anyone else is. It should be something you embrace, something that you know is out there, even if it is half way around the world. Family shouldn’t come after work, or anything else, it should be number one.
Family isn’t just those who are blood related, it is anyone who you love and hold close to your heart. Family are those friends you love, the ones who you would take a bullet for. Those family members are just as important as the ones your related to because they aren’t the ones who are obligated to be part of your family, but ones you choose to be part of your family.
Family is important, love is important, don’t let another day go by that you don’t appreciate or know your family. You never know when they’ll be gone for good.