So my internet was acting up the last few days. I finally got it working and you can see little updates on the menu and the linespacing of the blog. I thought if I could hook the modem up to the main line and use a wireless router it would be better, but after I went out and bought the router, the modem was up again. So today I need to go back and return the router and wireless cards. After I return it I will have money, I’d like to get a sound card, one with a remote the stereo receiver jacks, but it isn’t feasable right now. I’ll need to take the money I get back and put it toward bills. It isn’t that bad, though, because I get paid on Thursday. Maybe I’ll get another movie. I bought Back to the Future trilogy and Meet the Fockers yesterday, which is okay because I haven’t treated myself to anything in a while. I still haven’t given my dad a Father’s Day gift, maybe I’ll pick something up for him.

My grandmother is doing about as good as one can be doing, I suppose. She fell the other day so we brought her to the hospital, but nothing is broken. They gave her pain medicine and shes completely out of it. She thinks we took her dancing and we all got drunk. She also thinks that Oprah is after her money.

I was sitting at work looking at something someone posted on myspace and it got me thinking. Remember when life was so much simpler? When everything was so black and white, good or bad. 2+2 always equaled 4 and nothing could change that. As we grow to understand the world, school became more and more complicated. When things were looking gray, not everything was a whole number. When life was really complicated girls and drugs and such, school threw us problems with more than one answer. As our minds and lives developed, school was there to challenge us in an intellectual way. When did I start to understand algebra? When did I start to use it in an everyday environment? When did time speed up, it was always so slow. I graduated high school more than a year ago. I went to an alternative one and before that a therapeudic one. I don’t remember a single lesson that was taught inside the classroom, I don’t remember a single therapy session. I remember the people, I remember the hard lessons that I learned. You know those lessons, the kind that no one can teach you, but you have to go through on your own, breaking up, friends moving away, following your heart. These lessons don’t end when high school is over, they never end. I believe that up until you die you are constantly learning these lessons, and when you finally do learn everything that this life can teach you, you move onto a different classroom. Everyday you learn something new, take what you learn that day and pass it on to another, so that they may pass it on. If you keep your lessons to yourself, life will be so much more lonely.

[Addon]So I was just reading the news and a minister was convicted of racist crimes from back in the 1960’s. When I was younger the 1960’s were so long ago, racism didn’t exist when I was growing up. The truth is when you’re growing up the only race issues you have is who can run the fastest. When did race become an issue again? Racism is supposed to be long gone in the history books, and yet it still comes back. I wrote an essay a while ago that I am going to keep working on and hopefully get published, it is about racism, and it isn’t like the normal racism is bad kind of thing that is out today, it puts a new spin on things. I’m at a point in my life where everything is so complex. I’m at a crossroads whether or not to move with my mother to Delaware or goto a different state and live on my own. [/Addon]

So my grandmother is scheduled to be moved into rehab tomorrow. She had surgery on Friday and my mom and I had no idea that she was doing it. So we get there and the nurse gives us this attitude saying how we should have been there. My mom flips and says well someone should have called me and on a tangant about how she’s 78 years old and she shouldn’t be allowed to sign papers to which she doesn’t understand. The surgery was a success, though. After the surgery my grandmother was screaming and yelling and just being how she normally is after these surgeries. She’s had three major operations over the last 4 years. She had open heart surgery, with a 90% chance that she wouldn’t make it, she had a hip replacement surgery a few months ago, with a 75% survival chance and a 50% chance she wouldn’t walk again and this hip surgery. Somehow she always pulls out of the surgeries scott free.

I was working on a default avatar for the site, and PSP crashed. Now I need to start over, joy.